Love is something we all need, but how we express and receive it can be very different from person to person. In the 1990s, Dr. Gary Chapman introduced the idea of love languages—ways people show and feel love. At first, there were five love languages. But as time has gone on, experts have recognized that there are really seven love languages that better reflect how people connect today.
Knowing what are the 7 love languages can help you build stronger relationships—not just with your partner, but also with friends and family. Let’s take a look at each one and how they can bring more love and understanding into your life.
What Are the 7 Love Languages?
1. Activity: Love Through Shared Experiences
Some people feel closest when they spend quality time doing things together. This love language is all about shared experiences—going on adventures, doing hobbies, or even just hanging out while doing everyday tasks.
How to Show It:
- Plan fun activities you can do together regularly.
- Show interest in your partner’s hobbies, even if they aren’t your favorite.
- Celebrate important dates with memorable outings or experiences.
2. Appreciation: Love in Kind Words
For others, words matter most. They feel loved when they hear compliments, encouragement, or simple words of thanks. A heartfelt “I’m proud of you” or “You mean a lot to me” can go a long way.
How to Show It:
- Say thank you often and give compliments freely.
- Leave sweet notes or send thoughtful texts.
- Acknowledge and celebrate achievements—big or small.
3. Emotional: Love Through Deep Connection
People with this love language value emotional support. They want to be heard and understood, especially during tough times. This type of love is about being emotionally available and offering comfort and empathy.
How to Show It:
- Really listen when your loved one talks about their feelings.
- Be open about your own emotions.
- Offer comfort and understanding instead of jumping to solutions.
4. Financial: Love in Generosity
This love language may sound like it’s all about money, but it’s really about thoughtfulness and generosity. Whether it’s a surprise gift, a nice dinner out, or saving up for something special together, financial gestures show care and support.
How to Show It:
- Surprise your partner with thoughtful gifts or outings.
- Be honest and supportive when it comes to financial decisions.
- Invest in your shared dreams—like a vacation or a cozy home.
5. Intellectual: Love Through Thoughtful Conversations
Some people feel most connected through meaningful conversations. They enjoy deep talks, sharing ideas, and exploring new topics together. This love language is about mental and emotional stimulation.
How to Show It:
- Have regular talks about things that interest both of you.
- Share books, podcasts, or articles and discuss them.
- Support your partner’s learning and creative ideas.
6. Physical: Love in Touch
Physical affection is a powerful way to show love. This doesn’t just mean intimacy—it includes hugs, hand-holding, cuddling, and gentle touches. For people with this love language, physical closeness equals emotional connection.
How to Show It:
- Offer hugs, kisses, and small touches throughout the day.
- Hold hands or sit close during quiet moments.
- Respect boundaries and learn what kinds of touch your partner enjoys most.
7. Practical: Love Through Acts of Service
This love language is about doing helpful things for others. It’s about showing up, taking care of responsibilities, and easing daily burdens. For these people, actions speak louder than words.
How to Show It:
- Help with chores or errands without being asked.
- Notice what your loved one needs and step in to help.
- Appreciate teamwork and shared efforts.
Why Love Languages Matter
Understanding what are the 7 love languages? can completely change how you connect with others. Often, we show love the way we want to receive it. But if our partner or loved one has a different love language, we may miss the mark without even realizing it.
By learning to “speak” the love language of those around you, you show that you care enough to meet their emotional needs—on their terms.
“Most people naturally give love the way they prefer to receive love. But the magic happens when you learn to express love in a way that makes sense to the other person.”
How to Find Your Love Language
Many people don’t realize how they prefer to give and receive love until they stop and reflect. Knowing your love language can help you feel more understood and connected in all your relationships.
Here are a few simple tips to help you figure it out:
Think about what makes you feel most loved. Do you light up when someone gives you a compliment, or does spending quality time together mean more to you? The moments that make your heart feel full can point directly to your primary love language.
Notice how you show love to others. Do you often cook for someone, give gifts, or offer a helping hand? We often express love in the same way we want to receive it.
Pay attention to what you complain about. If you often say things like, “You never hug me anymore,” or “We don’t spend enough time together,” those frustrations can actually reveal your emotional needs—and your love language.
Take a love language quiz. There are free quizzes online (including on Dr. Gary Chapman’s website) that can help you identify your top love languages in just a few minutes.
Talk it out. Having an open conversation with your partner, friend, or family member can help you both figure out how you naturally give and receive love and how to better support each other.
Building Healthier Relationships
The seven love languages give us a simple but powerful way to better understand each other. Whether you value long talks, thoughtful gifts, physical closeness, or acts of kindness, knowing your love language—and the languages of those close to you—can strengthen any relationship.
Love is a journey, not a destination. When we understand the different ways people give and receive love, we become more thoughtful, more connected, and more compassionate. And that’s the kind of love that lasts.
